My recently published book is now available on lulu.com for purchase or free download when you click on this word.
if you look a little bit below, you will also see a description which you will also find when you follow the link.


And the Circle Center Wavered' is simply a meditation, a collection written with the intention to bring the mind to the opportunity to perceive storytelling, poetry, diction and syntax, journey, and even the moon in a different way. This is done (coyly) through repetition, language context/connotation play, and grammatical challenges. There could be a certain quality of story-telling being broken through storytelling within the voice of the ambiguous characters, thus giving the story or poem (whichever the reader would like to call it) a circular quality, allowing the reader to find something. Meaning that: 'And the Circle Center Wavered' would simply like to help one search for and find whatever is being sought in the most contemplative way possible.

a propostion.

Kellyn Lappinga
August 2009 Book Proposal

Whilst you see a small little child, you see them in an inevitably innocent form. Their habitat and the experiences they come across certainly bring the little child to some sort of growth largely determines who they will potentially become, what memories they chose to hold onto and how they decide to connote certain experiences. To become personal and speak about fire, I connote only good things because I am reminded of camping and fellowship with neighbors. Others, who have had no or different experiences pertaining to fire, especially that of camp, may be scared of it or even indifferent as it has had a bad or no particular affect on said individuals. Well I starting out making my way down the long path of life, my family and I lived in close proximity to other families who had children that were the ages of my sisters and I and who also attended the same Sunday church service. On the days that compile the end of the week, we would all sit together around a fire pit placed in someone’s driveway. The adults would do things I didn’t pay attention to and we the children would play all around. This usually happened within the two blocks we all lived on. My father would always have his guitar. He would always have his guitar and at a certain time within the night, after he may or may not have had most likely one or two beers, as he was a Christian man, my father and one or two other fathers would get out their guitars and play songs. As my father spent a great deal of his youth working as a camp counselor, he knew many songs that would always delight the children. Even still to the present day, whenever I see the children of those families I had known so well, we often times somehow find ourselves in a conversation about these dearly held songs and I have noticed that they are all we still care to share amongst ourselves now, as we are ourselves becoming adults and live far away from each other on paths that aren’t the same.
In an attempt to somehow make tangible the nostalgic allure of our childhood, I propose to you, the reader of this, the possible construction of a book that contains the aforementioned dearly held songs. I want to make something that will hold what we, the “children”, have come to use to define our childhood. In this attempt, I hope to be able to wok out thoughts that I myself have about moving through stages of life, the paths and choices I myself have taken and what the experiences I have seen have had to do with these decisions. I would like to make these little books, again, to archive childhood in a way that the mind and photographs cannot. I’m also interested in what the book will be able to do for the “children” (and by children I mean everyone who was at one point a child) who did not or even could have grown up similarly. What will this book do for them? And: Can this book create this tangible past for them? Will making these songs available to those who have never experienced what campfire songs be beneficial? I presume we will just have to see.
I propose to make twenty-five hand-bound hardcover copies of this book that I would like to call “Music for those who Love Fire” but of course this title is subject to change. This book will consist of thirteen pages, the song lyrics placed on the page by a typewriter and then copied by a copy machine, sewn together and glued to the hardcover’s that will be covered in contact paper that looks like wood for decoration. There will be no title on the cover to maintain ambiguity but there will be a title page, with credits and dedications to those who deserve them. The page size, all-inclusive, will be eight and a half by eleven but the book will appear to be eight and a half by five and a half. I’m assuming that you, reader, would like to know the songs that will be contained between the hardcover’s I am hand making. Well here is the list, only because you are blessed.
1. My Aunt Came Back
2. You are my Sunshine
3. Michael Row the Boat Ashore
4. Ears Hang Low
5. Mr. Johnny Rebeck
6. In the Cabin
7. Donut Shop
8. Baby Bumble Bee
9. Button Factory
10. Bear Hunt
11. Billy Grogen’s Goat
So there they are. The songs picked for nostalgic reasons and reasons that have to do with familiarity.
And so this is what I propose to you. Yet another attempt to make childhood actual once again. And also an attempt to give a possibly validity to it. What I’m simply proposing to create a memory that will be in a form allowing it to last longer then the mind can manage to preserve it. I believe that the best way to do that will be to place it inside of a book. Mull it over and have some thoughts about your own childhood because I would mostly like to know if what I am proposing is problematic so that I may be able to present these songs held dear in the best possible way.

Now that I have begun to call myself a writer, I have discovered that I am interested in the artist's book as a way to find placement for my writing. Starting this fall that starts in September I will have taken three classes over the two and a half years i have (or will starting in the fall) attended SAIC that have to do with the construction of artists books and their placement within the "art world" and what they can do for both artists and writers.

So I have asked myself, and some others, others who are artists, what they, themselves, have come up with as a definition for the artist's book as a medium and form for the presentation of thoughts, and also how it is related to self-publishing, as it is inevitably a book.

With this information I have composed an article, attempting to answer questions, present more questions and allow whosoever is interested in this topic themselves, to possibly define what an artist's book is or (and you shall see after reading the article) bring the reader of the article to a place where he or she is okay with not being able to come up with a plausible definition.

If you should find yourself interested in any of the aforementioned, I have to tell you that downloading and reading the article I have just written will be extremely helpful in answering the questions you have and also guide you to places that will further help you understand what i have taken up to discuss in the article.

The title of my article is just below this sentence. And it's linked. And things that are linked enjoy being clicked on. So, give that link a little bit of glee, please.

"A Book can be an Artist too"

I hope you enjoy the article as much as the link enjoyed your click and thank you.

these little books were everywhere.

This is the inside of my artist book. and a little bit of the top of my finger.



this is a group digital photograph of all five of my artist books together.



this is my artist book all by itself.

it was a difficult task to complete in such a little time but i was delighted to make them. i still feel that there is something missing. that they aren't complete. but i think they will be someday and that's fine with me.

the inside text is an obituary for darling honest abe and, if i do have to say so myself, it is quite difficult to read. but difficulties are everywhere and we must face them so if you have any interest or inquiries about them, believe me, i am always here. i haven't decided where they belong yet or how they shall be distributed so if you have any suggestions, again, i am always here to find them.

lu la lu

and now i've sent my book to lulu.com so it can be published and i can become a real person!

I've named my book "And the Circle Center Wavered."

it's 38 pages and paper back and if you are interested in learning more, just call my name. i'll be there.
it will be available on lulu.com depending on its presentation when printed. i'll be sure to post a link to it on here if you are interested in owning a copy.

hey! i have a pdf file too. wanna know why? so you can read it!

here it is, just for you.

"And the Circle Center Wavered"

i dearly hope it works. also, if the little digital photograph of the cover of my book is touched, you will also be taken to a link which will allow you to download my pdf. and though o proof read it two times, there are probably still mistakes so please feel entirely free to let me know what those mistakes are.

hello. 

i would like to document the distribution of my zine now. 

i have taken it to quimby's!

that digital photograph up there right above us is one of all five of the books i had brought to quimby's for sale. they are on my bed. 

now that is a digital photo of me going towards quimby's to sell my zine. 

i declined from taking photos inside the store. i would say because it can be considered rude but mostly i felt a little too sheepish to be someone named frank. 

http://ocw.usu.edu/University_Extension/sheep-and-lambing-management/sheep.jpg

so instead of pictures inside i've documented what the view was like for me as i left the store. 

so. there you have it. my zine is on sale at quimby's for three pictures of dead presidents. or, dollars. they will be on the shelf in a week i think. if you're interested i mean. 

here is a review of my zine. it was done by a lady named samantha. i would like to extend my thanks to her for doing that, too. you may view the review here:

http://sgschroeder.blogspot.com/

a little review

"ancient egypt in the year 4 billion"
(i very much like this title. and i think titles are my favorite parts of things so i think i like this zine already)
i'm talking about the selected readings by mister ian mcduffie, of course.
in fact, all of the titles of all of the stories in this selection were lovely. and, even more, the placement of the words in the selections in the zine where lovely and made me think of pretty things. mister ian mcduffies writing style is incredibly interesting and, i found as i was reading, that it was able to take me all the way through the end of the book. and by that i mean the selected writing all seemed to flow together. there seemed to be no ending to them or, they complimented eachother very well. this could be because the pieces are seperated by titles in little case that don't take over the whole rest of the writing, and pretty little pictures of pyramids so you can't really get distracted by the ends and/or beginings of the three different selections.
Furthermore, the fonts chosen for the title pages worked very well as did the overall format of the little zine. oh! and the prism on the back cover was nice too.
i hope you pick it up and look at it and i hope there are more like this later on, when he feels like making them.

thank you, please.

and here are two pictures!

and now this afternoon, i checked out a camera from the 'tute media center and this one up here is this inside. and that one down there is the cover! there may or may not be more later. of course i will tell you how i will distribute them soon.

while i was going to document all my nearly little zines, i realized that i could not take lovely pictures because i do not have access to a camera currently for reasons i would rather not discuss.  

so. i'm going to tell you that it is 16 pages with things like words and 2 blank pages with nothing at all on them. the content found itself being about different tonics, bitters, sarsaparillas, cures, remedies and poisons and the different kind of bottles and vials they found themselves in during the 1800s and maybe a bit before and after. 

the front of this zine says "record" because that is its title. everything is in black and white. there are a few typos or, mistakes. my bad. but other then those mistakes i would like to think that it has turned out very well. 

i went to kinkos to copy it. in a store and on a machine like this: or that picture up there. i found that picture on the internet. 

i apologize for not being able to have pictures and i'm trying to document it the best to my ability.

hey! look. i'll give you an excerpt. 

"“Bitters” and “tonics”, as they were called in the 1800s, found themselves in bottles much like the intracate bottle blown from glass placed above. “Bitters” found their name from the bitter herbs that were encouraged inside liquors, usually gin, and are known today to only have been made to shy away from the steep taxes on alchol. Some herbs used included in the liquors were wormwood and orange peel and quassia, to be breif. The mr. Samuel Taylor Coleridge once said of bitters, “Where weakness proceeds from excess of irritability, there bitters act beneficially; because all bitters are poisons, and operate by stilling, and depressing, and lethargizing the irritability.” This is from Mr. Coleridge’s Specimens of Table Talk of the Late Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Tonics, on another hand quite near, are in present day refering to liquid drugs used to treat things, as they were in the 1800s. However similar they may be in the 1800s they were placed in pretty bottles and much like bitters, as they are in the same category, were mostly made of a base of alcohol and some herbs. The late Samuel Taylor Coleridge said of tonics similarly as he did of bitters, though and as there was a difference. “But where weakness proceeds from the opposite cause of relaxation, there tonics are good; because they brace up and tighten the loosened string. Bracing is a correct metaphor.”

fashionable bitters and tonics found in the pursueing little bottles that are pretty will be listed now."

well, as soon as i have pictures i will be sure to post them. and until then, feel free to contact me about purchasing one. you can chose the price. i guess.

kellynjune@gmail.com

loves.

bello.

I am going to make a zine. 

But first I have to make a mock up!

i'm trying to find the best shop to buy medical tape, too so if there are any known places: drug stores first aid kits, hospitals, please let me know.

I'm planning on making a record book. You wanna know what about?

the bottles that held our tonics and pills and poisons and chemicals in the era right around the civil war. I'm thinking about continuing with this zine even after this class is over! and keeping a record, through various issues, maybe in chronological order, maybe not. I would show you a little snip of what the cover might look like but i think i like to make you wait. 

but i've been having a lot of dreams lately so we will see what happens if i don't get a dream catcher.

when my zine is finished i might try to sell it to you so don't be discouraged. 

and remember: "it's only castles burning."

peacefully,

kellyn.

chapbooks are fun and easy.

Look! a book about herbs! I made it. It has pictures and explanations and! it even has a little loop of thread attached to its spine in order to provide transportation and overall convenience.




The digital photograph above and to your right is a picture of the little herb book hanging in a kitchen on a nail. Wanna know why its hanging there? Well I put it there. I had fifteen of these little herb books and I had decided prior to hanging on a nail in a kitchen the best way to let people know about herbs was to hang it in their kitchens on hooks or nails in a secret. This one in the digital photograph is in a girl named Emily's kitchen. It's near a calender. I really only hung it in three different peoples kitchens and I don't know their names because I only went to three houses besides my own the day i decided to distribute. I gave the rest to people I think were or are cool.

Making a chap book was pretty fun and easy. Maybe you should try it. here is a link to a template kind of:
http://msauer.mvps.org/images/publis2.jpg

Just remember when you make your books that you should be wary of cutting. If it isn't exactly on the fold, your book will look busted. oh. and also remember to fold before you cut! i didn't. some of mine looked busted. and! it's really helpful to have a bone folder or something like a rock maybe or a lighter near by to define your creases.

okay. thanks.

and now it is raining men.

“What are you looking for in a typewriter?” the salesman asked. “Something more then words,” I replied. “Crystals. I want to send my readers armloads of crystals, some of which are the colors of orchids and peonies, some of which pick up radio signals from a secret city that is half Paris and half Coney Island.” Tom Robbins, Still Life With a Woodpecker

Before I begin anything I would like to present an excerpt from a poetics statement I was asked to come up with as recently as May. It goes like this:

"3. How to Construct a Poem and its description and somewhat function

Well, dear student this is completely up to you. I cannot tell you exactly how to construct your own poem or it would be my poem, wouldn’t it? I can, however give you suggestions. If it is your proverbial “bag” you may, in your research of the traditional forms of poetry, simply copy the construction of it, adding in your own chosen words. This is where I mention the word index again. You may reference it if need be. Another exercise to explore is one of thievery. No, you didn’t guess it. We are not going to venture to the predestined seven/eleven down the street and “knock it over”, we are going to attempt to appropriate language. Thus, chose a passage from anywhere, be it a newspaper article, novel, a book meant for a child, the back of a cereal box, a receipt, the list goes on, and make a poem out of it. Scratch out words; rearrange them, on the surface of their home or where you have held them hostage. Also, a close cousin to this exercise, and also one of my pet choices when constructing a poem: chose a passage from any of the above and, while isolating each specimen (word) write down the first thing that passes through your cranium, or think of its connotation. For example: I am currently looking at the word “beating”. The first thing that comes to my mind is “Michael Jackson” thanks to his beloved song “beat it.” The poem must therefore: 1) Be absolutely everything while nothing and anything. 2) Play with word connotation. 3) Play with syntax. 4) Hold ambiguity while being as clear as possible. Allow your reader frustration in or to allow them to ask questions. 5) Hold both simplicity and complication. 6) Be in constant rebellion of that which has preceded it. So you see, a poem must hold opposition, in order to evoke meaning. It must dwell in possibility."

The aforementioned poetics statement was written as a hand book. I had titled it: "How to Write a Poem." It is supposed to embody many of my thoughts and motives and concepts of how I write and consider poetry. hopefully the posting of the above excerpt not only gives an impression of the questions I ask myself while I write, but also what is important to me during the writing process.

Now. Here is an verse from a poem and/or overall series I will aspire to publish in a DIY manner:

"Verse two
How You Have Gotten Here
“While you walked east, I have walked west and I had fallen and found a gentleman. A gentleman with a beard and feet who had turned apples into flowers to hang around the cactus thorns. We, the gentleman and I, walked to the end of the desert and back, placing flowers hung by strings to the arms and legs of the cactus’ surrounding us. In all our bravery, we hung them, throughout the petals and storm water stored within the stems, baring winter teeth. The gentleman and I then ran. We ran and escaped that which covered us, that which we found you, almost raised, at the foot of the canyon, a little past the oasis, keeping us from being covered.”

So the above was from a poem I'd like to call: "And of Deserts and Flowers and Verses of our Journey near the Harvest Moon." And I'm working on a poem now that is to be in the same series, only it will be about about cities. I have other titles but I'm not going to tell you.

Another thing: I tend to make things that look or feel old. Meditative things. Or objects - books. I would like to think that the circular style of writing that I aspire to aids the writings meditative motive. Here are some pictures next to and under this paragraph. They are of a book with a pouch and a map. The book is filled with poems concerning gestures written in a style similar to the verse above and the map correlates with the writing in the books, adding to a feeling of meditation (in order to find something?) and the pouch was made to allow travel, which ended up referencing some sort of pilgrimage and the walking the labyrinth.



And now I've just realized that I tend to write about journeys. I don't know what to think about that. Or how to improve upon my work just yet but I will someday. When I get feedback. And hopefully you know me a little bit more, know my intentions for the class, how I feel about my work and what it means to me. Hopefully I will be able to shy away from the posted tendencies and find new ways to think about and create art.
okay.
Thank you, little sun rays!